I was in an abusive relationship of one year when I met him. We were both in the same university. We eventually became friends, I confided in him about my relationship issues and with his help I managed to end the relationship with my abusive boyfriend.

As time went on we got close and we eventually started dating things were going great until I found out he was a chronic cheat. I found evidence of his cheating on his phone and chats of him speaking negatively about me. When I confronted him he vehemently denied it and managed to twist things, making it seem like I was making up all these things in my head. I caught him several times in compromising situations with other girls and he still managed to make me feel like I was the one in the wrong. And would justify his actions by giving reasons like “you are not giving me enough sex” or “you are not spending a lot of time with me”. This really took a toll on my self-worth as a woman, my social life and my education. I tried to leave the relationship several times but I could not because I felt I loved him too much.

I confided in the counsellor in my university who really helped me a lot, I realized I was being gas-lighted by my partner and that was a form of psychological abuse. It was difficult but with the support and help from my counsellor I managed to leave the relationship, it took some time to work on myself and to also get my confidence back, but I did. I am in healthy relationship now and I couldn’t be happier. – M

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